Our mental health is taking a battering, what with the constant physical and verbal abuse from the children, the lack of support, and having a long-term argument with SEN about the right school for Joanna. Here are the self-care strategies I’m using to fight for my sanity and well-being.… View Post

Eighteen months ago, I wrote an account of the handover of post-adoption support from our daughters’ placing LA to our own LA, three years after the adoption order was granted. I discussed the lack of understanding that we had experienced when we asked for safe holding training in the face of frequent child to parent violence. The experience was horrible and made me physically ill. We lived in fear of safeguarding proceedings for weeks. I think it’s time for an update.… View Post

I’ve come to the conclusion that adoptive families are like the TARDIS: bigger on the inside. To an extent that’s part of being human (or Timelord) – but there’s more than average ‘on the inside’ that goes unseen or un-thought-about by those outside adoptive family life. Is that true for your family too?… View Post

It’s been an exceptionally hard weekend. Today, after another epic violent meltdown, I wrote this email to our post-adoption support team, outlining both the violence and how we feel about our diminishing ability to cope as the severity increases. It seems nothing is working, the help is always excruciatingly slow in coming, and meanwhile we are in the front line, being pelted with our own shoes. Here’s what I wrote…… View Post

I now have a rather marvellous new members’ Facebook group as well as the public page. Exciting! The Adoptive Parents’ Self-Care Club Facebook group is a place to talk more about self-care and to cheer each other on. There are questions to discuss, mini self-care challenges, and all sorts of self-care shenanigans to encourage you to look after yourself. Come and join in!… View Post